Neil McCauley, 87, a lifelong resident of Kerhonkson, passed away peacefully at home on August 11, 2026, with his wife Sandra by his side. After a long journey with dementia and a difficult period of declining health that included an extended hospitalization, Neil was able to return home and spend his final days surrounded by family. 

Born on March 28, 1939, in Jersey City, NJ, Neil was raised in Kerhonkson, the community that would remain at the center of his life for nearly nine decades. He attended Kerhonkson School until seventh grade before leaving home to attend Cardinal Farley Military Academy, where his older brother Larry was already a student. Leaving his hometown and friends was difficult at first, but Neil adjusted and went on to excel both academically and athletically, particularly in football and track.

During Neil’s sophomore year, his father, Francis, died unexpectedly. His mother, Eva, who had been a stay-at-home mother and did not drive, was suddenly left to raise her four sons on her own. Neil was still just a boy, but the loss and the responsibility that followed helped shape the man he would become. He was hardworking, fiercely loyal to his family, and always offered to lend a hand to those in need.

After graduating from Cardinal Farley in 1956, Neil went straight to work on the New York City water projects with West Delaware Tunnel Contractors.

The work was difficult and dangerous, taking him deep underground, where he worked his way from laborer and brakeman to motorman and miner. But what mattered most about those years wasn’t the work he did. Neil and his brother Larry used their earnings to help their mother pay off the mortgage on the family home. That work ethic stayed with Neil throughout his life. His working years included construction on the Palisades Parkway and Route 209, as well as delivering oil and servicing oil burners for Consumer’s Oil Services in Kerhonkson. In 1966, he began a 28-year career with IBM in Poughkeepsie. For approximately 35 years, he also worked at Humiston’s Funeral Home during and after retiring from IBM.

Neil devoted 51 years to the Kerhonkson Fire Company, serving his community as a firefighter, Lieutenant, Captain, Assistant Chief, and Fire Commissioner. For Neil, Kerhonkson wasn’t simply the place where he lived. It was home.

His daughter joked that running a simple errand into town was rarely quick. A stop at Stewart’s could turn into a series of conversations as Neil greeted one person after another, made introductions, asked about their families, and caught up on what was happening in their lives. He didn’t just know a lot of people; he genuinely cared about them. It was easy to understand why he became affectionately known as “the Mayor of Kerhonkson.”

Neil was the kind of person who showed up.

He showed up for his sister-in-law by helping to take her to chemotherapy treatments; he showed up for a neighbor who didn’t drive by taking her to medical appointments, and he showed up for a friend by regularly visiting her while she battled Alzheimer’s disease. These weren’t things Neil did for recognition or praise. He did them because that is who he was.

That devotion was most evident in his relationship with his mother. Neil loved Eva deeply and visited her every day, bringing her the newspaper and spending time with her. When fuel costs were high, he would also stop by before work to make sure her kerosene stove was filled and that she was warm. During the summer, he took care of her yard. Eva was an avid Yankees fan who kept a scorebook while watching the games, and Neil would often watch them with her. She passed away in 1989, and throughout the rest of his life, Neil often spoke about how much he missed her.

These weren’t grand gestures. They were the ordinary acts of love repeated day after day for years. The kind of things that become extraordinary when viewed across a lifetime.

That same devotion defined the family Neil built for himself.

He was the proud father of Denise and Francis, and when Sandra and her three-year-old daughter were Lisa came into his life, Neil chose to love and raise Lisa as his own. From that point forward, he was her father, and Denise and Fran were her family in every way that mattered. Their bond was built not simply by circumstance or a family name, but through a lifetime of love, loyalty, guidance, and Neil’s choice, day after day, to be there for her.

Neil carried that same love into being a grandfather and great-grandfather. His grandchildren were among the greatest joys of his life, and time spent with them was something he truly treasured. He especially loved family vacations with all of his children and grandchildren, enjoying the chance to be together and make lasting memories. He was a hands-on grandfather. When they visited, he would frequently walk them across the street to the Kerhonkson School playground and take them to many other playgrounds throughout the area. He brought them to the school pool to swim, but he did not sit on the side and watch—he got in the water with them. There was no pool, lake, or ocean he would not get into with his grandchildren, no matter how cold the water was.

The depth of the bond Neil shared with his grandchildren is captured by his grandson’s decision a few years ago to permanently honor him by getting a tattoo of Neil’s birthday.

For Neil, family was about love, loyalty, responsibility, and presence. It was about being there.

Neil also believed in staying active. For years, he was a regular at The Ridge gym in Stone Ridge, where he faithfully worked out three days a week. He ran 5Ks, 10Ks, and half-marathons, and he loved hiking with his wife Sandy throughout the Shawangunk and Catskill mountains. But Minnewaska State Park held a special place in both their hearts. 

Neil is survived by his wife Sandra; his children Denise Couser and her husband Steve, Francis McCauley and his wife Kelly, and Lisa LaCouture; his grandchildren Steven Couser and his wife Michelle, Lindsey Hoti and her husband Celja, Kassidy Roebuck and her husband Logan, Corey McCauley and his wife Delaney, Dylan McCauley and his fiancé Lauren Helton, Sierra Paes, Michael LaCouture, and Madison LaCouture; and his great-grandchildren Leonella, Eloise, Kelly June, Laurel, Callan, and Adelaide.

He is also survived by his brother William “Bill” McCauley and his wife Carla; sister-in-law Dolores McCauley; sister-in-law Judith McPeck; brother-in-law Robert “Bob” Tozzi and his wife Laurie; sister-in-law Brenda Canale; brother-in-law Matthew Ticcony and his wife Catherine; brother-in-law Anthony Cappillino and his wife Frances; and many nieces, nephews, extended family members, and friends.

Neil was predeceased by his parents, Francis and Eva McCauley, and his brother John McCauley and his wife Betty Lou; his brother Larry McCauley; and his brother-in-Law David McPeck.

Neil’s life can be measured in many ways: 87 years, 28 years at IBM, approximately 35 years at Humiston’s, 51 years serving his fire company, a lifetime spent in the community he loved. But numbers don’t tell the most important part of his story.

That story is found in a mortgage he helped his widowed mother pay off when he was barely an adult. It is in the newspaper he carried to her house each day and the stove he made sure kept her warm. It is in rides to chemotherapy and doctor’s appointments, a neighbor’s freshly mowed lawn, and visits to a friend who was losing her memory. It is in conversations that made a five-minute trip to Stewart’s take far longer than planned. It is in a little girl he chose to raise as his daughter, grandchildren he climbed onto playgrounds and into swimming pools with, and a family who always knew they could count on him.

Neil didn’t need to tell people that he loved them. He showed them. And if someone needed him, he was there.

That simple truth may be the greatest legacy Neil leaves behind. In the community he served, in the lives he made better through countless acts of quiet kindness, and most of all, in the family who had the privilege of calling him Dad, Grandpa, Poppy, Great-Grandpa, husband, brother, uncle, and friend.

He will be missed beyond measure.

In keeping with Neil’s wishes, there will be no formal funeral service. Family and friends are invited to gather for a Celebration of Life on Sunday, October 18, 2026, at 1:00 p.m. at the Kerhonkson Fire House, a place that held special meaning for Neil after 51 years of service to the Kerhonkson Fire Company. 

Please join us as we come together to share memories, celebrate Neil’s life, and honor a man who meant so much to his family, friends, and community.